Where Dreams End and Start
by AliciaC
Summary: season five, Spike goes to Buffy's wake and Dawn says a speech that brings tears to everyones eyes... One shot maybe making a squel? read and tell what you think
1. Default Chapter

Spike stood in front of the funeral home, he didn't like this, he didn't want this. He saw Dawn standing outside the door, she was wearing a small black dress with short sleeves, and her hair blew in the wind and whipped around her face. Her face was a pale, tear stained her flushed cheeks, as did his.

He walked over to his princess, the one he promised to protect and smiled softly down at the crying girl as she ran into his arms. "I'm glad you came." She whispered.

Spike sighed heavily, "Me too." He told her holding the shaking girl, he ran his hands threw her hair trying to calm her. He said it out loud and it scared him, he wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to lose her... not yet... not ever.

Dawn latched her hand in his and smiled up at him, "Come inside?" Dawn asked and she saw the fear in his eyes. "It'll be okay." She promised.

Spike nodded and followed the girl into the funeral house; he walked to the big red doors, he sighed looking at the board in the front of the door, 'Buffy Anne Summers, may her Soul rest in Peace.' He felt another tear roll down her cheek. He quickly whipped it away.

"She would have wanted you hear." Dawn whispered and looked up at her 'big brother'.

Spike took a deep, unneeded breath. Dawn pushed the doors open and let go of him and ran to Willow. He looked everywhere but the coffin, the coffin with the woman he loved lying lifelessly in it. He finally looked up and saw the flowers, thousands of flowers surrounding her, her body was pale, he could feel the coldness coming off of her, even in death she was breathtaking, her hair curved around her face, her hands folded over her stomach. He didn't want to be here but at the same time didn't want to leave her. Pretending she was just sleeping. 'Come on, love, wake up...' He begged.

He cursed at himself, leaving the roses he brought in the car... he walked back toward the door and out of the room, for a second thinking about the thousands of people he made feel this way, the thousands of people he made hate themselves because someone they loved was taken away from them. He pushed the thoughts away and started to the car when he got to the parking lot he noticed Angel and Cordelia come out of a car and walk to him.

"What are you doing here?" Angel growled at his childe.

Spike looked at angel, he knew he looked like a wreck, his eyes were welling with tears and he didn't care. "Not now." Spike growled back. For the first time in so long his grandsire had no impact on him.

Angel growled low in his throat when Spike pushed past him he grabbed him by the arm and pushed him back, "You better not go back in there," Angel warned.

Spike gave Angel a deadly look, "Look, I'm not going to fight you, not today." He said walking past him again.

Angel was about to say something but Cordelia stopped him, "Angel, he's going threw everything we are... maybe more." She said calmly, "Just leave him."

Angel growled again and walked into the home.

Spike walked to the car grabbed the flowers out of the front seat and sighed, looking back at the funeral house. He gulped; he needed to be strong about this... he was going to be. He walked back into the home clutching the flowers in a bruising grip. He walked into the room watching as the family and friends gathered around the girl.

He noticed Angel and Cordy took a seat next to Willow and Xander as they cried together. He stood there more alone then he'd ever felt before. He walked slowly up to the coffin placing the roses next to his princess. "Hey, love." He said softly looking down at her. "I just uh... wanted to thank you." He said softly. "For every thing. I wish I was someone you could have wanted here." He said softly chocking on each word, "But, love, you have to know how much I've missed you and... you've hardly been gone." Said Spike, "I want you to know that my promise to you, with Dawn, I'll look after her... with my life." He promised, "I wont mess up again, love, I promise." He said softly.

Willow saw Spike and smiled softly threw tears, she stood up and walked over to the vampire she laid and assuring hand on his shoulder, "Hey." She whispered.

Spike turned to her and for the first time Willow said it, the vulnerability in his eyes, he was scared, lonely, and emotional. "Hey, Red." He said softly not letting himself cry in front of her. "Don't worry." He said taking a deep breath. "I was just leaving."

"You don't have to." Willow whispered, "You should stay, for the speeches."

Spike gulped not sure how long he could take anymore of this. He nodded softly.

Dawn moved to the small booth next to the coffin, "Hey, everyone." She said taking a deep breath. "Some of you know me as her sister, and others don't know me at all." Dawn said softly "To be truthful when I was asked to do a speech I didn't want to, knowing how much it would hurt, and it does." She said tears slipping down her slippery cheeks. "I woke up this morning knowing she wasn't in the next room, she wasn't there to boss me around and tell what to do." Dawn explained, "And it... it hurts so much." "She was amazing, I was always majorly jealous of her, she had everything I wanted, the friends, boyfriend, superpowers." Dawn chocked out. "And she was always complaining, she had everything I could want and I could never understand how she could be so upset." Dawn paused, "So much happened in such a big blur." She explained looking down at her sister, "She was always there for me. She _died_ so I wouldn't have to, so I could live on." Dawn looked up at the audience, "So all of us can live in this world she fought to protect." Dawn cried, "You might think Glory killed her, but she didn't." Dawn said, "She didn't." Dawn sobbed, "glory had not one bit of power over my sister, my sister was a champion."

Spike smiled softly.

"She loved you all," Dawn told them, "She told me to take care of you, just like she did... but I don't think I can do that." Dawn said softly, "Not like she did." Dawn smiled threw the tears that continued to stream down her cheeks, "I don't really know what else to say." She said frustrated looking down at the wrinkled piece of paper in front of her, "Nothing I wrote was really good enough." She explained, "I've tried."

Dawn walked off of the podium and over to the CD player and pressed play and a song started to play... a soothing one. She moved to the back of the room where Spike sat and sat next to him laying her head on his shoulder. "You did great, pet." Spike whispered and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

Dawn smiled lightly looking up at him, "you should say something."

Spike shook his head, "Don't think anyone should see that." He told her softly.

Buffy stood at the doorway in tears she wore a white dress. Her hair fell in loose curls around her shoulders; the dress fell to her bare feet, it had sparkles all over it and was beautiful. "I love you too." She whispered softly. She walked down the isle to _her_ coffin. She looked at herself moving her hand to touch her face but her hand went right threw. Buffy smiled lightly and looked back at all the people who'd come to see her... say goodbye... She looked at her sister with Spike and was okay with leaving them. All of them.

She wasn't really going to be gone; she'd be with them.

She moved to Dawn where Spike held her close to him and she smiled at Spike, she bent over to him, "I believe in you." She whispered softly in his ear before disappearing.

Spike looked over his shoulder and saw nothing, but he could have sworn he had heard her. Those simple words stayed with him, with them.

She wasn't gone...

"I believe in you."

The End ... or is it???


	2. moving on or trying to

yOu asked for it so here it is!

Spike smiled down at Dawn as she slept soundly in her bed, her chest rising slightly with every breath she took. Some how he knew where ever she was, she was happy and safe. He missed her more then anything. Being in this house didn't help at all. She was everywhere, in everything he touched. Dawn was looking more and more like her everyday and it was killing him. He moved to the door and flicked off the light, looking back at Dawn one last time before closing the door as quietly as he could.

He made his way down the stairs and to the couch, he sat down getting comfortable and grabbed the remote. He started to flip through the channels randomly, until finding something he wanted to watch. With a satisfied sigh, he leaned back and started to watch the TV show, slowly drifting to sleep.

Willow walked into the house, Tara and The Buffy-bot behind her. She smiled seeing Spike asleep on the couch. "I'll wake him!" Buffy-bot said cheerfully moving to the vampire and poking him on the chest.

"Hmm, Buffy." He moaned softly, turning over so he was facing the couch and away from the Scoobies.

Tara and Willow exchanged a sad smile, "Buffy, why don't you go upstairs, looks like Spike's staying the night." Willow said with a smile and Buffy-bot nodded with a grin and walked up the stairs and to her room.

"I'll go and get him some blankets." Tara offered, "You're all demon gooey." She said with a smile, "You should get in the shower." Tara watched the more powerful witch walk up the stairs and into the bathroom.

Tara sighed and walked to the closet, she grabbed a comforter and brought it to where Spike was and covered him with it. Tara rolled her eyes as she heard him growl low in his throat and murmur, "That's right, kiddies, the Big Bad."

The next Morning

"Is he ever going to wake up?" Dawn whined looking toward the living room where the blond vampire still lay sleeping on the couch. "You'd think as soon as you opened the pancake batter he would be up and kickin'." Dawn said with a small laugh.

"He does like pancakes." Tara said with a smile sitting down next to the Buffy-bot. "Do you think we should wake him?"

"No need for that." Came a male, English voice. The girls turned and noticed him standing at the door; a black, tight, T-shirt clinging to his muscular chest, his hair ruffled, he reached up and scratched his chest through his T-shirt. "So, what's for breakfast?" Spike asked sitting down next to Dawn, who smiled up at the blond vampire.

"Eggs and pancakes." Willow answered with a smile as she cooked it. "Funny shapes or round?"

Spike smirked, "What ever comes out, love." He said running his fingers through his bleached locks, he looked over at the Buffy-bot who'd been staring at him since he'd walked into the room. He hated her gaze; he hated how much she looked like Buffy.

Xander walked through the door with a smile on his face, "I come to the house after a hard day at work!" He said congratulating himself.

"Hey, whelp, it's like twelve in the morning," Spike told Xander with an eyebrow raised.

"Okay, so maybe I'm about to GO to a HARD day a work... er, or shut up fang face!" Xander huffed.

Spike smiled, "Sure thing,"

Buffy-bot looked at Xander angrily; "You shouldn't talk to Spike like that!" She snapped, "You should trust his brain just as much as his god-like body." Buffy said giving Spike a glimmering smile.

Spike looked down at the table, then looked up at Willow fire burning in his eyes, "Thought I bloody told you to get that stuff out of her system," Spike growled.

Willow looked at the angry vampire, "I did, or... I thought I did." She looked at the Buffy-bot, "Some of her wires must be crossed, I could have sworn I reprogrammed her." Willow said.

Spike clenched his jaw, "Well then, Red, you're going to have to do it again."

Dawn looked up at Spike, her big green eyes catching his ice blue ones in a comforting gaze. She smiled at him, in a sisterly way. "I'm gonna go back to the crypt." He said pushing the seat back and moving into the living room where he grabbed his duster. "See ya, bit."

"BYE SPIKE!" Dawn shrieked as she heard the door close.

The Summers House Night

Dawn came out of the kitchen holding a cup and walked down the hallway, "So, my homeroom teacher, Mr. Lefcort, was like, 'Your sister's a example to us all.' Hmm! She wanted to make it national Buffy day." Dawn announced. She put her glass on the coffee table and sat on the sofa next to Spike. A pizza box and a plate with a half-eaten slice of pizza on it, adorning the table.

Spike nods, "Makes sense."

Dawn turns to him, "It does?"

"She responded to Buffy-Bot because a robot is predictable, boring. Perfect teachers pet. That's all schools are, you know. Just factories, spewing out mindless little automatons."

Dawn raises her eyebrows with a smile.

Spike continued quickly. "Who go on to be ...very... valuable and productive members of society, and you should go." Spike said his voice growing soft, "Because Buffy... she would want you too." Spike whispered looking down at the cup of water he had in his hand.

Dawn nodded, "Check. One mindless automaton coming up."

They sit in silence for a minute.

"So, uh, what do you fancy, bit, uh, game of rummy?" He asked getting up, placing his cup down and walking over to the desk.

"Well, uh, Willow and Tara said they'd be back early." She watches as Spike opens a drawer and starts looking for the cards. "You really don't need to hang, you know, if you're bored."

"I'm not, and yeah, I do." Spike said, grabbing some cards from the drawer, he closes it and pushes a chair opposite from Dawn.

"But I'm fine alone. It's not like anyone's after me." Dawn explained. "I'm not the key anymore, or if I am, I don't open anything... remember?"

Spike sighed and his reply was soft, "I'm not leaving you by yourself, so forget it." He said sitting in the chair.

"I'm just saying--"

Spike slams the cards down on the table, hard, stopping her from what she was going to say and making her jump. He looked away from her, "No, I'm not leaving you... to get hurt..." He told her his tone softening, "Not again." A brief moment of silence and Spike looked down at the cards, "Now deal."

Dawn nodded and picked up the cards.

TBC ...

Hope you liked it! Don't worry! Buffy's going to be alive soon! 


	3. you're a robot

A woman runs from a vampire threw the night, running into a alley screaming for help, the vampire walks up to the girl and corners her between himself and the alley wall. He smiled at the girl reaching out and touching her cheek. He vamped out. "PLEASE!" The girl yelled, "Don't hurt me!" He pulls her to him and moves to bite her.

"Don't be scared." Buffy-bot said with a proud voice, "I'm going to kill him." The vampire looks over at the Bot and pushes the off the girl and he growls at Buffy-bot. "You can run now." Buffy-bot said with a glimmering smile.

The girl ran.

Buffy-Bot rolls her eyes noticing that the vampire tried to run also, "Not you!" She called running after him. He pushes a dumpster into her path she shakes her head and jumps over it. She lands on top of him and knocks him to the ground. They both jump up but she sends him back down with a circle kick. He gets up and she pushes him, kicks him down again. He crawls to an empty glass bottle grabs it and hits Buffy-Bot on the face with it.

Buffy-Bot stumbles back and the vampire gets up. The broken glass tore a hole in the bot's forehead and sparks start to fly around. "You're.... You're... you're a machine!" The vampire stammered looking at the robot confused.

Buffy-Bot smiled, "Thank you!" He backs away from the Bot, "Stop!" Buffy-bot shrieks. She walks forward, directly into the stack of large kegs. She backs up a few steps them walks back into them again. The vampire watches and a smile forms on his lips, she continues walking into the kegs again... and again. "Vampires! Beware! I'm the Slayer! And will SLAY you!"

Grinning the vampire turns and runs off.

Summers House

Spike sits on the couch looking at the Buffy-bot as she stairs straight back at him, there are times when he looks at the bot and sees Buffy looking back at him, he hated those minutes. This wasn't Buffy, not his Buffy, not the one he'd fallen in love with. She gave him a cheeky smile and he looked down at him hands "I'm confus...ed?" The Buffy-bot said.

Spike looked up at her, "Got yourself cut." Spike explained pointing to her forehead.

"So I've been harmed?" She asked tilting her head to the side.

Spike nodded watching as her hair falls around her shoulders. "Then I must report to Willow!" She exclaimed standing up knocking over the chair she had been sitting on. "Its in my programming!"

Spike shook his head, "Stay put, she'll be back soon." He said getting up and fixing the chair.

"NO!" She said loudly. "I MUST report to Willow!"

Spike growled, "Shh," He said angrily, "Gonna wake the bit!"

Willow walks into the house and was greeted by the Buffy-bot's ear splitting scream, "WILLOW!" She shrieked. The bot walks toward Willow, knocking over a side table with a vase on it. Spike catches the vase. Willow comes into the room as the bot walks into a wall.

Willow looks at Spike, "What happened, where's Dawn?"

Spike rolls his eyes, "Upstairs, in bed. But the bot here seems to have got into a scrape while she was on patrol." Spike watches as Willow positions the bot in front of her and looks at the cut on her forehead.

"I think... think my feet are broken." Buffy-bot said.

Willow sighs, "Eh, looks more like a short in the navigational system." She steers the bot over to the sofa and sits her down while talking to Spike. "Can you get the flashlight from the, uh, kitchen?" She asked looking at the scrape.

"She wanted to go out and look for you again, but I figured there are enough things in Sunnydale that go bump in the night." He said heading for the kitchen.

Willow sits on the table across from the Buffy-bot. "Good thinking," she whispered lost in thought.

"But my homing device locates you when I am injured. I am programmed to go to you." Buffy-bot explained.

Willow nods, "Right, I know. Still, I think just this once, it was a good idea to stay put." Willow lifts the bot's shirt and peels back the skin over her stomach, revealing various wires and circuitry. "Spike was right." She said poking around in the bot's insides.

Buffy-bot looks up at Spike when he returns with the flashlight, "Sorry, I questioned you Spike." She said looking at Spike he looked surprised. "You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs." She said giving him another one of her shimmering smiles.

Spike looks pained, "I told you to get her to stop doing that." Spike said quietly to Willow.

Willow sighed, "I did. I mean, I thought I got all that stuff out of the program. I don't know why it keeps popping up." Willow said softly looking at the bot.

Buffy-bot watches as pain and anger cross over the vampires face with interest. She tilts her head watching as he moves toward the door. Willow doesn't notice Spike moving.

"Can you shine the flashlight right here?" She asked and looks over to where spike was, he was gone she looks over at him as he grabs his coat and opens the door. "Spike!"

Spike turns toward the witch, "Tell nibblet that I left her something on the kitchen table." Spike said before walking out.

Willow sighed and looks at Buffy-bot, "Did i say something wrong?"

Willow shook her head, "No, it's not your fault." she said typing.

Buffy-bot pouted, "I think Spike stopped liking me."

"That's not true, he-he thinks you're swell." Willow told her.

"Then how come he never looks at me any more? Even when he's talking to me." Buffy-Bot said looking at Willow anxious for some kind of explanation. "He still loves the other Buffy... doesn't he?"

Willow nodded, "Very much."

"He's sad a lot."

Willow nodded, "HE misses her." She explained typing.

"Does he hate me because I remind him of her?" She asked tilting her head to the side.

"He doesn't hate you." Willow said looking up at Buffy-bot, "He just gets cranky, the way vampires do. Now, just relax. I am gonna make you good as new."

Dawn's Room

Dawn in bed, wide-awake, staring at the ceiling. After a long moment, she gets up. She walks around her room for a while then throws on her jacket. She opened her window and climbed out.

Spike's crypt

Spike's chuckle files the crypt loudly as he watches something on the TV; his left leg was thrown over the side of the chair one hand resting on his knee and the other hand holding a bottle of whiskey. He smiled watching the screen when he heard a woman's scream coming from the graveyard, "Don't these bloody idiots learn NOT to go to graveyards after dark? They live in Sunnyhell after all!" He sighed getting up and walking out to see Dawn being attacked by a vamp.

Fear covered him and he quickened running to where HIS bit was in trouble. He threw the vamp off of the young girl and punched him hard. The vampire looked up at the bleached vampire, surprised. Spike rolled his eyes and kicked him hard in the chest into a tree watching as he exploded into dust. "What the BLOODY HELL are you doing out in a graveyard?!" Spike demanded whipping around to the girl.

Dawn looked at Spike and her bottom lip quivered slightly, "I couldn't sleep."

"I have one bloody rule, Dawn, don't come at night."

Dawn saw the anger burning in his eyes and sighed, "Sorry." she said softly, "I couldn't sleep." She said and looked away not catching the pain washing away she turns around and notices a tombstone. She sighed heavily and started walking toward it.

Spike follows slowly at behind. He watched as she knelt in front of the two tombstones. "Must feel like everyone's leavin' you, eh?" Spike asked tilting his head to the side.

Dawn traced the letters to Buffy's name. "She saved the world." Dawn said her voice weak, "Should have been me." she whispered, "All this happened because of me."

Spike shook his head moving toward her kneeling down next to her, "You say anything like that again and I'll rip your bloody throat out, alright?" He asked growling low in his throat. Two brown eyes locked on his, he saw them start to water.

"I should have jumped, shouldn't have let her." she said gripping the grass hard, "It's all my fault."

Spike shook his head, "It's not your fault, Dawn, she knew what she had to do, and she did it."

Dawn closed her eyes tears slipping down her cheeks, she opened them to face her sister's and mother's tombstone. "It's not fair." She whispered harshly.

Spike nodded reaching out and rubbing the young girl's back lightly. "It'll get better."

"I'm not stupid, Spike, I know you still miss her, I hear you, crying at night sometimes." Dawn said turning to him.

Spike takes his hand away from her and runs his fingers threw his hair, "Look, I'm just--"

"Trying to feed me bullshit?"

"Bit! Watch your tongue!" Spike sighed, "I'm not saying to forget about her... just don't forget the good." Spike said, "Did that make sense?"

"Kinda."

"Come on, bit, make you out of the cold and into the damp." spike said gesturing his crypt. Dawn smiled sadly and stood up with Spike and followed him to his crypt. "How's about some ice-cream?" He asked with a smile.

Dawn smiled, "Love it!"

REVIEW PLEASE??!

Thanks for the reviews!!


	4. Home sweet Hell

Buffy's eyes shot open and she breathed, she breathed. For the first time in months she takes a gulp of the sweet air. But then she realized there was none. She tries to gulp down any kind of air, but there was none. She panics. Starts ripping open the fabric on top of her. What had happened? She clawed at the soft fabric and dirt started to tumble in around her.

Fear. She closed her eyes tight and began to dig threw the rocks and dirt above her. Trying to keep her mouth shut. She made her way threw the hardened dirt and to the soft soil pocking her way threw.

She pulled herself out of the ground and breathed heavily. Tears falling from her blurry eyes. She could hardly see out of them. Hell. She had it to good. This must have been hell. Seeing her mother, and everyone else who'd died.

Something must have happened, why was she here? She stood on two wobbly legs and turned to see her surroundings. It looked like a graveyard. She turned and looked at the tombstone above the grave she'd climbed out of. Tears streamed down her face, her body ached.

Nothing was right. Nothing would be right.

Buffy looked herself in her mirror, Dawn stood behind her, running the brush threw her damp hair. She'd cleaned up as much as she could. Dawn knew she was still in shock so she didn't want to push anything to hard on her.

"Dawn! You better be here!" Buffy jumped at the angry and scared voice coming from downstairs, she looked at Dawn, wide eyed.

"It's okay, it's just Spike." Dawn promised. Dawn moves toward the door, "I'm here!" she yells down to the vampire.

Dawn starts walking down that stairs and Spike slams the door shut angrily, "Thank GOD! You scared me half to death… or more to death. You—I could kill you"

Dawn rolls her eyes, "Spike—"

"I mean it. I could rip your head off one-handed and drink from your brain stem." When Dawn reaches the bottom of the stairs, he sees the look in her eyes and knows something is up, "What's wrong?" He asked, unsure.

"Look." Dawn said.

Buffy starts to walk down the stairs, "Yeah? I've seen the bloody bot before, didn't think she'd pack up so—" He stops himself and looks at her as she continues to walk down the stairs. Her eyes locked on his. He gulped. She stops on one of the last steps and continues to stair at the vampire.

"She's kinda, um… she's been through a lot… with the… death. I think she's okay" Dawn spoke but neither of them seemed to be listening. Locked in each others gaze. "Spike? Are _you_ okay?"

Spike continued to stair at the slayer, "I'm… what did you do?"

"ME? I didn't do anything."

Buffy notices her top unbuttoned and clutches it closed, and the familiar sent filled the air, making its way to Spike's nose. Blood. Buffy's blood. "Her hands."

Buffy lowered her hands and hid them behind her back; she looked at Spike, hoping he would be able to help her… somehow. She was so lost.

Dawn nodded, "I was gonna fix them… don't know how they got that way though."

Spike looked at the lost slayer, "I do, clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how."

"Yeah, that's… what I had to do." She replied quietly.

Spike nodded, "Done it myself." Through all of this he continued to stair at her, like he was dreaming. Hoping of course. Never to wake up. Spike blinks once or twice and outstretches his arm. "We'll take care of you." He promises, "Come on."

Buffy looked at him with a fearful frown but lets him guide her to the living room. Spike orders Dawn to get some supplies and she runs off into the kitchen. Spike helps Buffy to the couch; he sits her down and sits down on the coffee table in front of her.

He takes her hands in his and looks at them, then looks up at her face; their eyes meet another time. He could tell she was struggling. He wanted to help her but… he wasn't sure how or even if he was the one to do it. "Pet," He said softly, "If there's anything I can do… to help you… all you have to do is ask, love." He told her.

She didn't look away, didn't say a word.

"Tell me to jump and I'll ask how high." He promised.

"H-how long… was I gone?" she asked.

"Hundred forty-seven days yesterday, uh.. Hundred forty-eight today." A small smile creeps to his handsome features. "'cept today doesn't count, does it?"

Buffy doesn't respond just continued to stair at the caring man in front of her.

"How long was it for you… where you were?"

Buffy looked up at him, "Longer."

Spike nodded, excepting her answer. "Are you… are you in pain?" He asked almost afraid to hear her answer.

Buffy noticed the look in his eyes. "A little."

Spike nodded, "You need to tell me what hurts, okay?" He asked, like she was a child. But Buffy didn't care. The sound of his voice was soothing. He hadn't yelled at her, tried to hurt her, everything he'd said so far had been soothing and soaked with care and devotion.

Buffy nodded, "I-I can't really see that… good." She told him shakily. "My hands… and my chest."

Spike nodded, "Once you get some sleep the vision should clear up," He looked down at her hands, "They're not as bad as they feel, love, with slayer strength you'll be back to kickin' my ass in no time." He told her with a small smile.

Buffy smiled lightly.

"And your chest… I think that's cause of the loss of breath."

Dawn came in with a handful of supplies. "Got the stuff." She said piling it on the table next to Spike. She sat on the couch next to Buffy, giving her sister a small smile.

Spike let go of her hands for a second to grab the small white tube. He squeezed some of the liquid onto his finger tip, his eyes meeting Buffy's again, "This is gonna sting for a second, okay?"

Buffy gulped but nodded.

He applied the cream on her knuckles and anywhere that had a gash in her skin. Buffy hissed jumping slightly. "Shh, pet, T's okay," He coed her, "Jus' gonna clean it out." He gently picked up the other hand and applied the cream. He looked up at Buffy who bit her lip. "Sorry." He whispered. "T's over." He put the cream down and looked down at her slim fingers.

Dawn watched as Spike gently bandaged her sister's hands, a smile on her lips.

Spike gently wrapped her small hand in the bandage. Trying to keep his attention on her hand but looking up at the fallen Angel every few seconds. What would do this to her? Why? What had she done to deserve this?

TBC…

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	5. Thank you

Buffy looked at Spike fearfully as everyone poured into the room, yelling. "Is she here!?" One of the Scooby's yelled, "God! There she is!" Xander said catching his breath.

Spike looked at Buffy as she looked at him for support, "She's shakin' up." Spike stood up, dropping Buffy's hands from his grasp when he stood he noticed Buffy stand up also and stand behind Spike, grasping the sleeve of his jacket.

"We didn't know where you were." Xander said softly to Buffy.

"You ran away." Anya said.

"Buffy!" Willow shrieked.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked concerned.

Spike gives them a disgusted look, tries to move away and notices Buffy's got his jacket. Not letting him move away from her.

Dawn looks at the gang in shock, "You knew she was back?" Dawn moves in front of Buffy but to the side of Spike, blocking her sister off from the group slightly. "How did you know?"

Anya moves forward, "You're not a zombie… are you?" Anya asked Buffy.

Buffy looked at Anya, confused.

"Anya!" Xander yelled.

Spike felt Buffy's hand tremble on his sleeve because of the whelp's outburst. He felt her steady so he didn't say anything.

"Are you in pain?" Willow asked.

"What do you remember?" Xander questioned.

"What do you know about what happened?" Tara asked.

Spike looked back at Buffy, she was looking at him for any kind of help, "Bloody hell, you guys want to stop with the bleedin' questions? She's been there enough as it is."

Dawn nodded, "Yeah, back off you guys!"

Willow sighed, "We're sorry, we just… she's back."

Spike looked up, "You-you did this." He said.

Willow nodded, "A spell, we… we did a spell."

"We didn't think it worked but—" Dawn cut Anya off.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I'm okay." Buffy said, the gang turning to her. "I'm gonna be fine. I remember. You brought me back." Buffy whispered.

"What was it like?" Anya asked.

"I, I can't…" Buffy said looking down. She looked back up at the group, "I'm tired." She said, dropping Spike's sleeve. Giving him a small smile. "I, I think I… just want to go to sleep." Buffy said softly.

Tara nodded, "That's a good idea, You, you should get some sleep."

"Right, long day." Willow said, "But Buffy, be happy, we got you out. We really did." Willow said giving her friend a big smile.

Buffy looks at them, still uncomfortable. "Tired." She whispered, apologetically. She looks at Dawn, "My room, it's still…"

Dawn nods, "Yeah. Yes, you're room is still –your room."

Buffy nods and exits the room.

Outside

Xander and Anya walk down the driveway, talking. "Oh yes, six of seven days." Anya said sarcastically, "That's all you need to get over the hell experience,"

Xander stops when he hears something, "What's that? Who? Spike?" Xander asked looking toward the tree and walking over to it.

Spike's leaning against the tree, his back to them, he lifts his hands and wipes his eyes. "What are you doing here? I thought you left when Buffy went up stairs?"

Spike grabs Xander and spins him around, slams him up against the tree and holds him there. "Hey!" Anya shrieked but Spike ignored her. "You didn't tell me." Spike said, "You brought her back and you didn't tell me." Spike said slamming him up against the tree again.

"Well, now you know." Xander said.

"I worked beside you all summer."

"We didn't tell you. We just… we didn't okay?"

Spike nodded, chuckling. "I've already figured it out." Spike lets Xander go, glaring at the whelp. "Maybe you haven't, but I have." Spike spat angrily. New tears burn Spike's eyes, he points toward the house, "Willow knew there was a chance that she'd come back wrong. So wrong that you'd have ... that she would have to get rid of what came back. And I wouldn't let her. If any part of that was Buffy, I wouldn't let her. And that's why she shut me out."

"Willow wouldn't do that." Xander told the vampire firmly.

"Oh? Is that right?" Spike asked sarcastically.

Xander shook his head, "Look at me and tell me the second you saw that she was back, that wasn't the happiest moment of your entire existence."

"Maybe it was." Spike told him, "I'm not goin' to lie to you lot and say I'm not happy the slayers back, your not even worth that anymore. But what you did… you have know idea what could have happened and you did it anyway!" Spike yelled, "You could have really hurt her! You could have—bloody hell you already did! You made her DIG HER WAY OUT OF HER OWN BLOODY GRAVE! And you call your selves her FRIENDS?" spike asks. "You're not worth it."

Spike moves away toward his bike. "The thing about magic!" Spike called, "There's always consequences." Spike yells getting on the bike, "If you hurt her again, I'll make sure you pay." Spike said before driving off.

Inside the house

A while later

Buffy peeked her head out of the door to her room, silence greeted her. Then she heard the talking from down stairs. She slowly walked down the stairs, seeing Dawn, Tara, and Willow in the kitchen she decided it was less crowded and walked into the room.

"Hey, Buffy." Willow greeted her friend. "I thought you were gonna get some sleep?"

Buffy nodded, "I-I was gonna, couldn't sleep." She looked around, "Umm. Did Spike leave?" She asked looking at Dawn.

Dawn nodded, "He left after you went up stairs, you want us to get him?" She asked, "Willow can call him."

Buffy shook her head, "N-no, I'm okay… can I have some water?"

Dawn nodded and looked at Tara who was already filling a glass with some sparkling water. Tara placed the cup down in front of the Slayer, "Thanks." Buffy whispered taking the cup and sipping from it.

Buffy turned and walked out of the room.

"Why'd she ask for Spike?" Willow asked, confused.

"She must have wanted him here." Dawn said, "Duh."

Tara laughed lightly, "It makes sense, that she w-would w-want him here." Tara said, "He was the one she was pretty much hiding behind."

"ohmigod! You know what would be awesome! If they got together!" Dawn said happily.

The next morning

The bright sunlight creped threw the window. Making its way to Buffy's bed. It slowly warmed her body and moved to her face. She blinked herself awake. Sighing. She got up out of the bed, she was freezing. She grabbed a sweatshirt and put it over her body. She walked out of the room and made her way down the stairs to the kitchen.

Willow and Tara were taking a bite of toast and rushing to the door, "Buffy, do you want us to stay with you?" Tara asked Buffy, "Dawn's already at school, do you want us to stay with you?"

Buffy shook her head, "No, that's fine, you guys go ahead."

They nodded and left. Buffy sighed going into the living room and sitting down on the couch.

Buffy jumped when she saw the door fly open and a smoking blanket entered. She smiled knowing who was under it. Spike threw the blanket off of him, "Fire!" He yelled stomping on it, throwing the door closed. His back was turned to her; he could feel her gaze on him. He sighed, ran his hands threw his hair and turned to her. "Mornin' love."

Buffy smiled, "Morning, Spike." She greeted him, "What's that?" She asked pointing to the paper bag in his hand.

He looked down, "Figured the witches left to early to make you breakfast. Right?" Buffy nodded, "So, figured you'd be hungry." He handed her the bag. "Egg sandwich,"

Buffy smiled, "Thanks."

"Wasn't really sure what you liked." He told her, "Or in the mood for." He shrugged, "So, I got you pretty much everything they had." He said with a soft smile, "There are about five sandwiches in there."

Buffy opened the crumpled bag and smiled, "That was really sweet."

"What ever you can't eat I will." He offered with a toothy smile.

Buffy smiled, "Okay." She walked sat down on the couch and he sat on the recliner, "Umm, you can… I mean.. You can sit here." She said patting the spot next to her.

"Right." Spike said, he sat down next to her and watched as she looked threw her sandwiches, "So, really, love… how're you holdin' up?"

Buffy froze, "Fine." She said softly.

"See, I'm a vampire, pet, I know a thing or two about a lie."

Buffy looked at him, her face solid, no emotion. "I'm not lying."

Spike nodded, "You know, you don't have to act all strong around me." He told her, "You can just be… Buffy." He told her tilting his head to the side.

Buffy nodded, "I know." She whispered.

TBC…

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	6. Goodnight

Buffy nodded, "Okay… so what are you trying to tell me? I'm broke?"

"Not yet, but money is definitely an issue." Willow told the Slayer.

"But I haven't spent any money." Buffy commented, "I was dead."

"Your mom prepared everything very well." Tara stated, "Sh-she had insurance… life insurance."

Buffy looks down at her hands, a picture of her mother in her head, wearing a white dress, glowing. She felt tears burn her eyes as her mother smiled back at her. How could they do this to her? She was so… happy. "S-so…"

"Pretty much sucked up all the hospital bills." Willow explained.

"The house doesn't do anything, just sits here. And by itself costs money." Anya explained, "So you need money for that."

Xander looked out the window and noticed Spike walking up the driveway. He opened the door and walked into the livingroom giving Buffy a reassuring smiled and Dawn walked over to him. She smiled up at him. "Hey, you missed it." She said, "We watched Elf."

"That's okay, bit." Spike assured her with a smirk.

"Easy." Buffy spoke up, "We burn the house down. We get the insurance on the house." She said with a weak smiled receiving worried looks from the people around her. Except for Spike who chuckled a little. "Geez, don't let the dead girl joke."

Spike's chuckles stopped when she joked about her death and she knew she'd gone to far. "So… what do I do about money?"

"We're thinking you can… get a job." Willow suggested.

Buffy looked down to the floor, feeling her body shake with… anger? She looked back up. Her Eyes clear. Her happy shell now showing. Everyone missing the anger, fear, loneliness.

Or she thought everyone. Spike watched her, his head tilted to the side. He could tell the girl had been through too much to even think about a job right now. "I could pick up the pluming bill." Spike said out loud trying to help in anyway he could.

Buffy's eyes shot to Spike's as he offered the little money he had to help her. "Y-yeah." Buffy smiled lightly at him, "That would be great."

She looked around the room, waiting. Waiting for someone else to offer to help her. But no one did. The people who tore her away from her paradise sat back and watched her suffer. "I have money from dad." Dawn pitched in proudly next to Spike.

Later

Buffy buried her face in her hands, her hair falling in front of her face. She leaned on the kitchen table really feeling like she couldn't hold herself up any longer. Then the voice floated threw her and she picked her head up and gripped the table, she turned, "Hey, pet."

He was leaning against the doorframe, his hands tucked in his pockets, head tilted slightly to the side watching her every movement, hair slicked back.

"Hey." Buffy said softly, her head spinning.

"You alright?" He asked walked toward her switching his weight, foot to foot.

Buffy nodded, "Yeah… sure."

"You know I'd have the same dream every night after you died?" Spike asked sitting beside her, "Only it always ended with you living." He looked at her healed hands and smiled softly. "Up in the tower somehow I wouldn't have failed. I would have done what I promised… would have protected Dawn…"

Buffy looked at him, eyes on his.

"I'd see it all again… do somethin' different… faster… more clever… dozens of times. Lots of different ways." He looked up, watching the pain and confusion play on her pale face, "Every night I save you." He whispered.

"It wasn't your fault." She told him, "What happened."

"If I—"

"Spike, I did what I had to." She told him, "I'd do it all again."

"Hopefully you wont have too."

"You didn't fail." Buffy said, "You did what you promised, you protected Dawn. Even after… you stayed." She looked at him, soft smile on her lips, "Cause we all know that the Master vampire Spike could have gotten that chip out of his head if he really want to by now."

"You think I don't want to?"

"No." Buffy answered, "I think you… I think you want us to keep you. You think the only way we will is if you have that chip in your head."

"Am I wrong?"

Buffy smiled, "For some of us."

"This is different." Spike commented.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"You're talkin' to me like…"

"Like we're friends?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe we are."

Spike nodded, "That mean you wont be kicking me in the head any time soon?" Spike asked tilting his head to the side.

Buffy smiled, "Not unless it's needed. You do do some stupid things. Might need a reminder who's stronger."

"You still think you're stronger?"

"Come on!" Buffy exclaimed, "All that rest! I could take out anything."

"I miss fightin' you."

Buffy looked at him, confused.

"Come on, you can't say that fightin' me wasn't some of the best fun you've ever had." Spike told her, "Might be half the reason I kept you around." He told her with a smirk, "You know, besides the fact I'm in love with you."

The laughter and jokes stopped when he said it. He was afraid he took it to far, she was just afraid.

"Sorry." Spike murmured and stood up, he was about to leave when he felt Buffy's hand on his shoulder.

He turned, "You-you don't have to… go." She whispered. "P-please… don't go."

He saw the tears in her eyes and shook his head, the slayer was breaking. No, she was broken. "Shh, pet, I'm not goin' anywhere." He promised. Before he knew what happened he was holding a crying Buffy on the kitchen floor as she held onto his shoulders and cried. "Shh, baby, it's okay."

Buffy knew she was shaking, she knew she was crying into a _vampire's_ embrace, she knew that she shouldn't open up to another vampire, she knew she should be strong, she knew she shouldn't show any weakness, but… she didn't care.

"Everything's so screwed up." Buffy whispered in a muffled voice.

Spike kissed the top of her head, "Tell me."

Buffy looked up at him, her green eyes again, welling up with tears. "I-I… I'm tired."

Spike nodded, "Alright, you can go upstairs—"

"I don't want to sleep here."

"Where do you want to sleep?" He asked.

"N-never mind." She stuttered. "Goodnight." She whispered before slipping out of his embrace and walking toward the stairs, before she got to the door she stopped. Turned and walked back to him kissed him lightly on the cheek and then ran out.

"Goodnight." He whispered back as he walked out of the house.

TBC…

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	7. Leather collar

Buffy looked in the mirror, a weary look on her pale face. She couldn't take this anymore. Why was it so hard? It's not like she'd never been alive before. There were tons of people who had it worse then her. She knew there was… she'd helped them when she was in her heaven.

She knew they thought they were doing her good… she needed to keep them thinking that. So that they would be happy. But if she really needed to tell you truthfully what she was feeling… she wouldn't care. She wouldn't care how they felt. They did this to her, now they can deal with it.

The Basement Of the Magic Box

Buffy walks down the stairs, holding a cardboard box in her arms. She sighed, "And over… and over… and over…" She gets to the bottom step and Spike comes out from underneath the stairs, she screams in surprise and both of them jump. "Bell, neck, look into it."

"Come with a nice leather collar, does it?" Spike asked with a smirk.

"What are you doing lurking around here?" She asked putting the box down on a table.

Spike sighed, "Came through the tunnels," Holds up a handful of vines. "Runnin' low on Burba weed." He smiled, proudly. "Stir it in with the blood, makes it hot and spicy."

Buffy gives him an "ew" face and sighed, her look softening into a weary one. "How much more do you need?" Spike asked.

Buffy sighed, "Too much." She looks up at him, her eyes soft. Tired. "I-I'm sorry about the other night." She said, "I was…"

"Don't worry about it." Spike told her, "We all break down at one point."

"It's… it's just a lot… you know?"

"Kinda." Spike answered. "Can't really tell you I know exactly what you're going threw." He tilted his head to the side.

"Red roses." Buffy whispered after a long pause. She seemed lost in thought. "You put them next to me." She closed her eyes, "I was surrounded by them, tons of flowers." Buffy opened her eyes and looked at Spike's shocked blue orbs. "You came up to me, whispered…"

Spike gulped moving to Buffy, "You-you remember that?"

She looks at him, "So it really happened?" She asked, "I-I thought it was my dream."

"That was your wake."

Buffy nodded, "Everything is so… blurry." She looked down, "It's like… the memories are there. But—it's like there it a cloud shielding them from me."

"You don't remember where you were?"

"I… I remember some." She answered. She looked at him, shocked. She almost told him. "T-the torture." She lied. Buffy moves and sits on a chair next to a wooden table. "I kinda… came down here to be alone."

"Oh. Uh, right then." Spike moves to the tunnels.

"Wait…" Buffy called. "You… you can stay."

Spike walks a little closer to her, "Buff?… Slayer? Are you okay?"

Buffy looks like she's going to cry, she gulps, takes a deep breath and nods at him. "I'm here. I'm good." She whispered.

He walks to her, "Buffy, if you're in… if you're in pain… or if you need anything… or if I can do anything for you…."

Buffy looks up at him, "You can't."

"I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late. I know a thing or two about torment." He sits beside her on the wooden table.

Buffy looks down at her hands, "I was happy." She whispered. Spike turns to her, confused, "Wherever I was… I was… happy." She looks at him. "At peace."

Spike looks at her, shocked.

"I-I'm not really sure… but I knew everone I cared about was okay… Time… it just didn't matter. Nothing had form… but I was still… me." She looks away again. "I was warm. Loved. And I was finished. Complete." She looks at him a tear slipping from her eye. "I don't understand the dimensions or… any of that. But… I think I was in heaven."

"And now I'm not… I was torn out. Pulled out… by my friends." Buffy sobbed, "Everything here is so hard, Spike, Everything I feel. Touch… knowing what I had and don't anymore… This is hell."

She looks at him, shocked. She just told him everything. Buffy chocked on a sob, her insides twisting. "I… I'm sorry." She whispered standing.

Spike stared at her, trying to register everything she'd just told him. Shock taking over his body. The woman in front of him was even worse off then he'd thought she was. "I'm sorry." He chocked out.

"What? You didn't-"

"I should have… should have known… should have tried to stop them" HE said looking up at her, "To busy watching Dawn, God! Why didn't I see it?!" He closed his eyes. "Why didn't they check?" He asked, his body filling with anger.

"Buffy! Where's that mandrake root?" Giles' voice is heard from above them.

Buffy quickly whipped her tears away and took a deep breath, "I-I'm getting it!" Buffy yelled back. Buffy turns to Spike, "Please, you can't tell them." She tells him, "Never."

Spike watches her look around; he turns to a shelf and grabs a jar off of it, "Here." He handed her the jar, "Only three to a jar. They tend to get… wonky when you cram 'em together."

Buffy nodded looking at the jar, "Thanks." She whispered, "For… everything."

Spike gave her a reassuring smile, "You… you can come to my crypt if you want." Spike told her, "Cleaned up a lot since you last saw it. We can… talk… you know. If you don't have anyone else."

Buffy licked her dry lips and nodded, "That… that would be good."

TBC…

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	8. Lies upset Those you Love

A/n: last chapter I made a mistake by adding Giles, he wasn't supposed to be in there yet, he's just coming to the story this chapter, sorry guys!

Buffy sat on the couch watching some Tv when Dawn jogged down the stairs holding a bad over her shoulder, "Where are you going?" Buffy asked. She stood up and turned toward her sister.

"Janice's." Dawn answered opening the door. To Spike. "Hey, Spike! Bye, Spike!" she said pushing past him and he grabbed her arm and pushed her back.

"Woah, where are you off too?" Spike asked.

Dawn smiled, "To Janice's" Dawn told him, giving him a pleading look.

"You're walking there?"

"Straight there." Dawn promised, "No stops, she lives like a block away!" Dawn explained, "No biggie!"

Spike looked at Buffy who shrugged, "You promise to go straight there?" Spike asked.

Dawn nodded. "Cross my heart."

Spike nodded and moved aside. Letting the younger girl past him, he chuckled and shut the door. "Hey, pet." Buffy smiled and sat back down on the couch, she looked up at him when he walked into the room, he shrugged his duster off and threw it onto the recliner, the sat down on it. "Busy schedule today?" spike asked.

"Giles is coming in." Buffy explained, "Th-Willow called him."

Spike nodded, "So…"

Buffy looked at the TV. "Passions is on." Buffy explained.

Later

The door opened and Giles walked into the house, he was surprised at the sight he walked in on, Buffy was fast asleep, in Spike's arms. He was slowly stroking her hair. "Ghmmm." Giles cleared his throat. Spike didn't bother to look up.

"Don't wake her." Spike told the watcher, "This is the best sleep I've seen her have," Spike explained, his eyes never leaving the sleeping blond in his arms. "She's been threw a lot."

Giles nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. "H…how?"

"Red, the gang." Spike explained, grumpily. To be truthful he didn't want to talk about it, yes he was more then happy she was alive. Not only alive. In his arms. Sleeping. But what they did… it wasn't fair for her. It just wasn't right.

"How is she…doing?" Giles asked, tears spilling from his eyes, he shed his glassed and whipped away the tears and sat down on the recliner careful not to sit on the duster. He didn't say anything about Spike and Buffy's position. Sure he wasn't happy about it. Buffy was a daughter to him. But if she felt safe like that. He wasn't one to judge. Especially not now.

"She's… doing okay, I guess." Spike explained turning his head to Giles, finally, "She's still having trouble." Spike explained.

"I'm just… I feel like this is all a dream."

Spike chuckled softly. "I know what you mean."

Giles sighed, "I don't understand what Willow was thinking. She can't mess with these things."

"I've told her." Spike said looking over at him, "She wont listen, to happy Buffy's back." Spike explained, "Don't get me wrong seeing her again… even if she was broken… was the best second of my life." He looked down at her.

"It's wrong." Giles said, "But… I can't help being so happy."

Spike pushed a piece of hair away from the Slayer's face.

Giles watched the gentle acts of the vampire, he always noticed his affection towards women, but at the same time he was such a brutal killer. He never understood him, all the years he spent researching and reading about the vampire, all he got was more and more questions. Angelus was an easy vampire to figure out.

Giles knew exactly what made him tick, what made him angry. Spike though, only seemed to have one weakness. That was his girl, Drusilla, Buffy, Dawn, anyone messed with them and you would be dead in the next three seconds.

But Giles could never understand why. It was almost as if Spike had kept part of his soul with him. The part that allowed him to love.

Spike was his own puzzle; Giles doubted he even knew what made himself tick.

Buffy buried her face into Spike's shirt, "Mhmm, light." She said in a muffled voice.

"What?" Spike asked looking down at her.

"Too much light." Buffy moaned.

Spike looked at Giles and he stood up and turned the lamp next to Buffy off. Buffy moved her head away from Spike's chest, she looked at Giles a wide smile appearing on her lips, she jumped up into his arms. Hugging him tightly.

"Buffy…" Giles whispered returning the hug to the Slayer, his slayer. He looked at Spike who was smiling softly at them. He closed his eyes and Buffy's grip on him tightened.

"When did you get here?" Buffy asked pulling herself out of his embrace.

"Maybe a half hour ago?" Giles told her, "Spike didn't want to wake you, he said you haven't been having good sleep lately."

Buffy nodded, "Yeah…" Buffy looked at Spike, then at Giles, trying to figure out what else he'd told her Watcher.

Magic Box

They walked into the Magic Box, Giles first and then Spike and Buffy, Giles walked behind the counter and got a glare from Anya, "What?" Giles asked.

"Nothing." Anya mumbled and went back to counting her money.

Giles looked at Buffy and Spike, giving them both a questionable look. Xander walked into the room and smiled, "Hey! G-man!" He said excitedly. "We got our Princess back to the tower." Xander explained smiling.

Spike saw the pain flicker on Buffy's face but didn't address it.

"Evil-Dead, what are you doing here?" Xander asked. "Aren't you supposed to be somewhere? Else?" Xander added.

"I asked him to come with us." Giles said, "There was a few things I needed to have him do for me." It was a complete lie; he just didn't want to hear the boy go on and on. He wanted his first night back in Sunny Dale quiet, peaceful.

The phone rang.

"Hello Magic box?" Anya answered the phone, "Yes… no, she was at your house… no I'm positive." Anya said, "Yeah, sure." She looked up, "Buffy, it's Mary, Janice' mom, she wants to talk to you."

Buffy got up and took the phone, "Hello? Is it Dawn? Is she okay?" Buffy asked, "Umm… no… she did?" Buffy closed her eyes, "No… thank you." She hung up the phone. "Janice said that she was staying at our house tonight."

"No, the woman must be screwed up." Spike said.

Xander sent him a glare, "where do you think she is?"

"Dawn wouldn't lie to me." Spike said, "She's at her friends house."

Giles sighed, "Quiet day in Sunny Dale…"

Dawn sat in the car with Justin, she was nervously playing with the jacket he gave her to wear. "So? Does this work?" She asked leaning forward and pressing the button on the radio.

"If you turn the car on." He answered leaning forward and turning the engine on. He watched Dawn start flipping threw the stations. "You're beautiful. You know that?"

Dawn smiled and looked at him, "Thanks." She whispered.

"I want to kiss you." He told her leaning in.

Dawn gulped but leaned in also.

Magic Box

"Spike, grab a… something." Buffy said, "Where ever she is, she better be dying." Buffy looked at the group, "Giles, you and Xander take the parks, movie theaters, all those kinds of places." Buffy said, "Me and Spike are goin' to take… I have know idea. We'll cover more ground this way." Buffy explained. She looked at Spike who grabbed a cross bow, "Ready?" She asked watched him tuck it into his duster.

"What do you want me to do?" Anya asked.

Buffy turned to her, "You stay here, incase she comes by." Buffy said, "Call Willow and Tara tell them to stay at the house just incase."

Anya nodded with a pleased smile, "Can do."

Park

"Anything?" Buffy asked.

"Remember last year?" Spike asked, "When you annoyed the hell out of me by doing the same the you're doing right now?"

Buffy looked down, "Sorry…"

"We'll find her." Spike told her, he still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Dawn, Bit, his Niblet lied to him. What else did she lie to him about? He didn't even want to think about that right now.

"She lied to me too, you know." Buffy said.

Spike nodded, "Yeah, but I'm Spike."

A scream came from the "make out rock" Buffy ran up the hill followed by Spike. They got there and Dawn ran right into them. She quickly made her way behind Spike. Spike looked at the vamped out boy and sighed.

Spike moved to the boy and punched him, hard. Harder then he would a regular vamp. He kicked him in the check and the boy tried to punch him, Spike grabbed his hand and looked at the vamped out boy. "You really think you can fight me?" Justin asked, "I'm forever."

Spike rolled his eyes, clenched his hand, breaking bones in his hand making the younger vampire scream out in pain. Spike vamped out, "So am I."

Spike grabbed the stake from his duster and staked the vampire.

Buffy turned to Dawn, guilt written all over her face.

Dawn looked at Spike, he wouldn't even look at her. She bowed her head in shame, "Spike… I'm…" she started.

"You're alright." Spike said dryly. "T's all the matters, right?"

Dawn sighed. "I didn't…"

"I'm goin' back to my crypt." He said his voice dripping with disappointment. He looked at Buffy, "You're going to be okay?" He asked.

Buffy nodded, "Just tired."

"night." He said and walked away.

TBC…

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	9. The new Trade in Sunny Dale

Thanks for all the Reviews!

spikes-slayer29590

Hey

Spike's Girl Luna Ash

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CraZy4SpikE09

---

Spike was on his way back to his crypt when he heard Xander's high-pitched scream, "The boy really sounds like a bloody girl." Spike rolled his eyes and made his way up the hill not really in the mood for another fight. Which was completely different then how he usually felt.

Dawn lied to him.

It's not like he never lied to her. Actually he never did, not even when he was evil. There relationship was based on honesty. He asked her over and over to, not to be irritating, it was just because he cared about her. She was his bit.

He saw Xander trying to fight off a vampire while Giles was pinned against a car, he sighed and ran over to them quickly staking the vamp attacking Xander and then looked at where Giles was pinned, he was no where in site. "Where'd the Watcher go?" Spike called back to Xander.

Xander looked at him, coughing and brushing off the dust that covered his jacket. He looked around, "You _lost _him?!" Xander growled.

"Me?" Spike asked, "I just bloody got here!" He pointed to the whelp, "Maybe you forgot, I just saved your ass!" Spike reminded him, "So?"

"So what?" Xander asked, "You want me to thank you for trying to get in Buffy's pants again? Dream on, dead boy!" Xander snickered and looked around for Giles, "Can't you like sniff him out of somethin'?"

"Sniff him out?" Spike growled, "I'm not a bloody dog."

"No, you're worse then one."

Spike shook his head, "You go… the other way." Spike said as he started walking away.

Giles stood, surrounded by five or six vampires. He gulped, right now would be nice for one of the hero-types to come and rescue him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned, sighed in relief as he saw Spike.

"So, is this a private party? Or can anyone join?" Spike asked in his cocky voice.

The vampire who stood in the middle growled at the bleached vampire, "Go away, we saw him first." The boy growled.

Spike chuckled, "See. Youth, eh?" Spike asked looking at the Watcher, "They have no idea who I am." He said stalking in front of Giles; he wasn't looking for a fight. Maybe he could talk his way out of it.

What the bloody hell was the Summers' women doing to him? Not wanting to fight?

"You should all be bowing before me, you pathetic excuses for vampires, look at you, banding together to get a old watcher?" Spike snickered, "If it takes all of you to take down old Rupes here, then you have some serious problems."

Giles rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.

"Who the hell are you?" One of the vampires growled.

"I'm your worst enemy, William the Bloody, the Slayer of Slayers." Spike smirked, "Hey, I don't like the brag… well… I love to brag,"

Giles smiled softly but quickly covered it with a fake sob.

"Names Spike."

Some of them backed away but the leader laughed. "Spike? You expect us to get scared of a Slayer whipped Vampire?" The vampire asked with a wide smile, showing off his fangs. "Really taking in your sire's foot-steps aren't you?"

Both Giles looked at the stupid vampire, if he learned anything from his readings it was to NEVER compare Spike to Angel. If you did you had one hell of a death wish. Not only from his reading…

Spike was suddenly in the mood to kick demon ass, he charged forward punching the leader in the face, he watched as he fell to the floor, he looked up at Spike, a split lip. "Blood idiot."

"You don't hit me you idiot!" The vampire hollered.

"Depern, this is Spike." One of the vampires said to the leader.

Depern looked up at Spike and smiled, "I know." Depern smiled, "We go way back." He commented looking at a confused Spike, "You don't remember?"

Spike looked at him, "I… what?"

Giles looked at the two vampires who stalked toward him, "Spike!" He screamed and they attacked him.

Spike whipped around and grabbed the two of them, he staked one and the other kicked the stake out of his hand. Spike growled, frustrated.

Giles was grabbed by the leader, Depern. "So, you're the Slayer's watcher?" He asked chuckling, "Must be worth something!" he said throwing the watcher over to a vampire who gagged him.

Spike looked at Giles who was being thrown into a car, "Bloody hell!"

Ten seconds earlier

Buffy and Dawn walked over the path, "You think he was angry?" Dawn asked looking down at the cold gravel floor. She didn't want to face Buffy; she'd been threw enough and know she threw herself on the pile.

"I… I think he was disappointed." Buffy answered, her sisters long brown hair fell in front of her face, "He'll get over it." Buffy promised, "He loves you, he was just worried."

"Bloody hell!" They both heard the scream and Giles' muffled one.

Buffy looked down the hill at Giles being forced into a car and Spike fighting his way to save him. They made their was down the hill. Running as fast as they could.

Buffy ran to where they were shutting the car door, she grabbed the vamp, "Slayer." He growled. She rolled her eyes and staked him. She opened the car door.

Dawn jumped onto one of the vampires back's balling her fists and pounding on it's back as hard as she could. "Niblet!" Spike screamed.

Spike ducked a punch and grabbed the stake, he staked the vamps and then ran to where Dawn was when he got there the vampire hit her off of him and she hit the floor, hard. Spike growled jumping onto the vampire.

Dawn smiled as Spike rescued her… again.

Summers' House

The gang was in the living room, all except for Buffy, Willow and Tara sitting on the couch next to Giles. Spike leaning against the wall, one foot supporting him, Xander standing by the window, Anya sitting in the arm chair, and Dawn standing at the doorway.

Buffy walked out of the kitchen, she had a glass of water in her hand and she handed it to Giles who sat on the couch. "What did they want?" Buffy asked, "It's not like they could have known we were going to be out there."

Giles looked up at Buffy, "I have no idea."

"Maybe they have a seer." Anya commented.

"I don't think they knew they would run into us." Spike said, "Depern grabbed Giles and didn't want to feed on him, he said that He'd be worth something." Spike told them.

"Maybe it's some k-kind of trade?" Tara added.

"Angel told me about them." Buffy said, "They tried to get Cordelia. Because of her visions. You think there could be one in Sunny Dale?"

"There could be." Giles answered.

"I can go check it out." Spike offered, "Got to be talk about it at Willies."

Buffy nodded, "Yeah…"

"They seemed to know you," Giles said to Spike, "Did you recognize him?"

Spike shook his head, "I was as lost as you were."

"You think you could be his… sire?" Giles suggested.

"I don't think so." Spike said, "Maybe."

Buffy yawned. "I'm tired, you guys should head in." Buffy announced, "We'll talk more about this tomorrow."

Xander nodded and turned to Anya, Buffy silently watched as they left; Willow and Tara went up stairs to their room.

Dawn sat in the dinning room, watching Spike and Buffy talk in front of the front door. She could only make out some of what they were saying. She watched as Spike nodded and walked out the front door. Dawn sighed, didn't say goodbye.

She watched Buffy; she had a look of… lose? On her face. Despair washing over her once more. She wasn't stupid she knew that Spike was the only one who actually looked at her and didn't expect anything for his actions.

Everyone else did. Even her.

Buffy walked into the living room, Giles was standing, looking around the room. Buffy grabbed some blankets and a pillow and started fixing him a bed. "Thank you." He said softly turning to his slayer.

Buffy smiled sadly up at him but continued to make the bed.

"So, you and Spike have gotten close." Giles commented.

Buffy shrugged, "He's easy to talk to." Buffy explained and stood up, "And he doesn't treat me like a china doll." She added. Buffy sighed, "Truth? Sometimes I wish they _did_ treat me like a china doll."

Giles took off his glasses and watched as she plopped down on the couch, "You're not making much sense."

Buffy shook her head, "So I'm told."

"You're not adjusting well… are you?"

Buffy sighed, breathing. Breath, ha, funny word. "I'm fine."

Giles nods, "Dawn's going to have a talk, yes?"

Buffy looked up and sees Dawn walk up the stairs, "She lied to Spike." Buffy said, "She wouldn't even do that before I was dead."

"It's a rough time, she's a teenager."

Buffy nodded, "He was really… upset about it."

"That's understandable, those two were inseparable when you were… gone, he was determined not to let that girl break a nail." Giles explained.

"He promised me… before I died, that he would protect her." Buffy told him.

"Ah…"

Silence

"So, Dawn's talk?"

"Right." Buffy said, "I'm glad you're here to take care of it."

Giles nodded and watched Buffy walk up the stairs and into her room. Giles sighed, getting up and walking to Dawn's room.

Buffy got to her room, she looked out her window, and opening the window latch letting the cold air hit her face. She closed her eyes enjoying the feeling. Her eyes opened, swept over the ground, the neighbor hood.

Her hell

She turned away not noticing Spike jump up, and sits down on her roof watching her. He noticed her reach in her closet and pull out a pink nightgown. He turned leaning against the house blocking the dressing the out of his eye line.

He heard the bed creak and he peeked over and noticed her shut the light and pull the covers over her small form. He closed his eyes, listening. Hearing the heart beat. The sound he'd lost for too long. He watched her drift into a deep sleep. He sat on her windowsill, a guard, and a watcher. He watched her restlessly twist and turn in her sleep.

He wanted to hold her again, show her that it was going to be okay. He remembered his first few nights back on Earth, he was a vampire, he couldn't compare. But he remembered the sleepless nights. The nightmares.

Her twists and turns stopped and she looked like she fell into a dreamless sleep. He closed his eyes and listened to the hum of her breath, the thump of her heart, a sound that he'd missed beyond belief.

He leaned back on the window frame, his eyes closed, listening, breathing, unneeded breaths.

TBc…

REVIEW PLEASE!!!


	10. Big Brother

Thank you for all your reviews!

aej1085-- thank you for the review, I'm glad you're enjoying my story!

anj4eva091403-- I'm glad you like the story, thanks for the review!

spikes-slayer29590-- I'm happy you think that the story is sweet because that's what I'm kinda going for lol... thanks for the nice review! Keep reading please!

funkydevil206-- Thanks for the review!! I'm glad you're loving the story!

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Spike threw the doors to Willies bar open violently, looking for a spot of violence before bedtime. His blood was humming threw her veins, maybe not his but he could hear someone's. He moved to Willie grabbed him by the girl and pulled him up off his feet, "Information." Spike growled out.

Willie's eyes widened at the flash of yellow in the vampire's eyes, "I don't got none!" Willie called.

"How do you know you don't have any bloody info if I didn't ask you yet?" spike asked raising an eyebrow. "Now, you're going to answer my question. Truthfully. It's easy, yes or no." He told him.

Willie nodded, "Sure. Spike, anything for old friends!"

"New auction-trade thing." Spike said, "One in good old Sunnyhell?" Spike asked tilting his head.

Willie shook his head, "I don't know anything."

Spike sighed, "I can smell lies," Spike told him.

Summers' House

Buffy woke with a shiver; she looked at the window that she left open. She sighed and got up, she went to close the window when she noticed the cigarette box sitting near the window frame. She took a deep breath and grabbed the box. She put it on the table next to her bed then grabbed the window and pulled it closed, locked it.

She looked at the sun threw the stain glass window as it rose above the houses and trees. She sighed. "Another day." She closed her eyes tight at the annoying beeping of her alarm clock going off, cutting threw her mind like rigid glass.

She pressed the stop button and then walked out of the room and into Dawn's she was passed out on the bed, her own alarm clock sounding. She rolled her eyes and silenced her alarm clock then woke her sister up.

"Uhhg, five more minutes." Dawn whined.

"Up now." Buffy said.

"Geeze, Spike, I'm goin—" Dawn stopped mid-sentence and looked at Buffy's confused face. "I'm up." Dawn said and watched her sister wearily walk out of the room and close the door behind her.

Buffy walked down the stairs and to where Giles was making breakfast in the kitchen. She smiled. "I was going too…"

"Don't worry about it, Buffy, you sit down." Giles said and watched as she sat down on the stool and Xander walked threw the back door and into the kitchen, "Hey, Buff!" He said cheerfully.

Buffy smiled dully and drummed her hands on the counter top, "Hey, Xand, you're here to bring Dawn to school… right?"

Xander nodded, "Yes, I am, X-man to the rescue." He said laughing; he grabbed a pancake from Giles and stuffed it in his mouth.

Giles glared at the boy, "What are you doing? Those are for Buffy and Dawn." He said.

"Sorry…" Xander moved to the door, "I'm gonna go get something out of the car, I'll be right back." He said, he opened the door and heard the screaming.

"Coming threw! Make way!" Spike burst threw the door; he threw the blanket down and looked at the flaming blanket on the floor, "Fire! Fire!" He started to stomp on it. He had his back turned to the gang. He hand his hands threw his hair, took a deep breath and turned, "Hello all."

Buffy smiled lightly, "Hey, Spike."

"Evil dead, why don't you go… away?" Xander commented.

"Listen, whelp, the only reason I keep you alive is because Buffy likes you for some strange reason so I'd keep your bleedin' mouth shut." He said snappily.

"Did you find out something about the trade?" Giles asked avoiding the Spike-Xander bickering.

"Yup. The vampire gang." Spike explained, "They run the auction." Spike explained, "Tons of rich demons and blood idiots go there to get blood, seer eyes, bloody things you can get on your own. Just a little bit of effort." Spike said and then looked at Buffy who was completely lost.

"And you wonder why we don't trust you?" Xander asked, "just a little bit of effort? Doing what? Torturing little girls?"

"Hey now!" Spike started.

"Hey," Buffy called, "Can you two act like four year olds later?" Buffy asked, "Spike. What did you find out they wanted?"

Spike nodded, "The Slayer,"

"Great." Buffy sighed.

"Then why'd they grab me?" Giles asked.

"Slayer's watcher, the slayer." Spike explained, "Come on, Buffy's bloody famous among vamps, everyone wants a bite."

"I'm famous?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy, you've done so much more then any other slayer," Spike said, "Come on, love, you had two vamps fall in love with you."

Buffy smiled, "Least they were both hott." Buffy said freely shocking everyone in the room. She got up and smiled sweetly at Spike. "Come here." She said and started to walk up the stairs to her room.

Spike was stunned. He smiled at Xander and followed Buffy up to her room leaving the Watcher, and Xander in the kitchen.

Spike opened the door to the Slayer's room. She was on the bed, looking at him. He stood at the door, closing it. "So, I woke up this morning." Buffy said, "And the window was open." Buffy explained, "So I went to shut it, when I did I found these." Buffy held up a box of Cigarettes.

Spike cursed, "Right. Those aren't mine."

"No?" Buffy asked, "They looked like yours." Buffy said and opened the box pulling out a silver flip lighter, "Looks like your lucky lighter."

"Yeah, that's the one someone came to my crypt and stole." Spike said.

Buffy smiled and handed him the pack of cigarettes. "You never lied to me." Buffy whispered. As he took the pack, "Don't start now."

"Wasn't a lie, white lie." He explained dully.

Buffy smiled and sat down on the bed, "What were you doing here last night?"

"Came to check up on you." Spike told her, like I usually do. But you were getting dressed." He saw Buffy's eyes widen. "No. I didn't watch you." He told her, "I turned then I heard you get in bed, so I just watched you for a while."

"Why didn't you just say that?"

"You're not angry?"

"Because you care about me?" Buffy asked, "Hardly."

"T's good." Spike said softly and took a seat next to Buffy on the bed.

Buffy took his arm and draped it around her shoulder and cuddled into his side. Spike rested his chin on the top of her head, "Buffy, love, you know I'm Spike right?"

Buffy giggled, "Mmmhmm." Buffy answered softly, "I like it when you're around." Buffy told him truthfully. She had nothing to hide anymore. Spike was here. He loved her, unconditionally. She needed that. She needed someone who didn't want anything from her. But loved her.

"I like when you're like this." Spike whispered.

Dawn jogged down the stairs and into the kitchen laughed at the looks on the men's faces. "What happen?" Dawn asked, "A big demon come by here?" Dawn's eyes widened, "Did it?!"

"What? No, well except for dead boy junior, god I hate that guy so much!" Xander hollered. "What's he doing with Buffy anyway?" He asked.

"Spike's here?" Dawn asked. "In Buffy's room?"

Spike felt Buffy slowly slipping to sleep in his arms. He kissed her lightly on top of the head. "Shh, it's okay, love, I'm not going anywhere." He promised.

Dawn walked into the room slowly, smiling when Spike didn't even notice she was there. To wrapped up in taking care of the vulnerable slayer. "Hey." She whispered.

"Shh." Spike said turning to Dawn, "She'd finally asleep." He slowly laid her down on the bed her hand still linked with his. "What is it, sweet bit?" He asked.

Dawn smiled, "You're not mad anymore?"

"Yeah I'm mad." Spike said, "But… why'd you lie to me?" Spike asked keeping his voice low.

"Would you let me go if you knew?"

"No," Spike sighed, "Come on, Dawn, don't you think you can tone it down a notch or two with Buffy? She just got back, she needs your help."

"She doesn't need anyone Spike, she blocks everyone out."

"I know, right now, she just needs time, and she needs your help." Spike told her. "Please, Dawn, do this for me?"

Dawn sighed, "She's really having that much of a hard time?"

Spike nodded, "You go to school, all your classes." Spike told her.

Dawn nodded and hugged Spike, kissed him quickly on the cheek. "Bye Spike." She whispered and left.

"Bye nib…" He looked down at the sleeping slayer. He knelt down next to her bed, hands still linked. He kissed her knuckles lightly, "What am I gonna do with you, love?" He asked reaching out with his free hand and caressing her cheek lightly.

Xander walked into the room, seeing Spike over Buffy, touching her. He charged grabbing Spikes jacket and throwing him against the near wall and punching him in the way.

Buffy wasn't sure what woke her, maybe it was the feeling of her arm being wrenched away from her body. She looked at Xander, her eyes foggy with sleep. Then she noticed he was hitting Spike. Fear. "Xander! What the hell are you doing?!" She demanded jumping out of bed and throwing Xander away from Spike.

"He was touching you!"

Buffy looked at Spike and then at Xander, "I fell asleep, Xander, he was just helping me."

"Sleep?" Xander asked.

TBC..

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